2018 news

So I built a time machine to see how The Last Domino was faring this year (only after visiting 1785 to give Marie Antoinette a proper rogering, of course). Much to my surprise, I discovered that humans had been enslaved by lab rats. They got smart. I needed help if I was going to save mankind, so back to the time machine I went. I returned seconds earlier with Charlie Chaplain by my side. An epic, blood-soaked, cheese-stained battle ensued, and minutes later I had killed Charlie Chaplain. He turned out to be a lousy traveling companion...not a big talker. As for the rats, I was all "Screw this, I'm going to Disneyland before it got all evil." Naturally, I arrived in 1954 as the park was being built. I rode the construction workers' tractors, repeatedly yelling, "Wheeeee!" They didn't like that. So I'm all "Screw this", and went back to 1940 where I gave Eleanor Roosevelt a proper rogering.